ღ『伪装』ღ

明明很想哭，却还在笑。
明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。
明明很想留下，却坚定的说要离开。
明明很痛苦，却偏偏说自己很幸福。
明明忘不掉，却说已经忘了。
明明放不下，却说他是他，我是我。
明明舍不得，却说我已经受够了。
明明说的是违心的假话，却说那是自己的真心话。
明明眼泪都快溢出眼眶，却高昂着头。
明明已经无法挽回，却依旧执着。
明明知道说这样的话会伤害他，却忍着心疼装作轻松的说出口。
明明知道自己很受伤，却说你不必觉得欠我的。
明明这样『伪装』着很累，却还得依旧……

心痛..

心痛的时候，用手紧紧抓住胸口，想要把心揪住；

心痛的时候，将胸抵在膝头，任泪水肆意横流；

心痛的时候，是那样孤独而又无助，好想找一间远离尘世的森林小屋，在没人听见的地

方放声大哭……

love love..

如果有一天
你走进我的心里
你一定会哭
因为里面装满你的点滴
虽然我放不下你
但至少希望你得到幸福
很清楚的告诉自己把你推给他
他会比我更爱你
在我身上就算再爱你
你也不会喜欢我
爱你的方式
只能放手让你幸福..

<3..frm unknown..<3

love

我爱你，
你却不知道我对你的爱，
只能眼睁睁的看你走向他，
人生总是这样，
我爱的人不爱我，
爱我的人却我不爱..

from unknown..

ish..

hate my family,dun like stay at hse,te feeling jus like stay in jail..
wanna go out..go jj..
No free at al..sit tere study study follow te rule..
arghh..
hate tis..
dont do tis dont do tat..><
i very very hope dad , mum , n bro from morning until nite
BUSY BUSY BUSY..
wahh...very hapy lo...
LOVE tis so much..
no rule no control..
bt tis jus a day oni..
im so hoping tat tis can hapen 365day..
haiz..
mood very low nw..
very pek cek..
arrghh..
pening leh...shit it..

arghh~

2day i jus simply get scold by my family 3times
in te end al is nt my faul..wtf~
at ttn time dear(kohani) ask me y i say my self useless..
im a useless jie n mei..
didi gt problem n emo..
i cant do anyting wif it, i jus can care him ask him dun no mood nia..
tats al i can did..im realy a useless jie..
im more worst to b a mei,more suck more useless..
kor no mood(mayb gt smtg hapen)
i jus can at beside answer oo..oo..tats all..
i cant didnt anyting 2make him feel hapy mayb coz of me i make him feel more emo..
i jus cant do anyting..
NTG,NTG,NTG..i can do about it,NTG!!!
im realy realy 100% sure im a useless sucks person..
im sure tat didi n korkor sure very hou hui gt me such a useless jie n mei..
i jus feel tat im a air..
useless,brainless

i have ntg 2hope..jus hope tat al my friends,
mama, ji mui, kor , didi n al other..
wil hapy everyday..

emoo...

1week d..
i keep emo..oni..
how??i dun like te feeling~
day by day,im more emoo..
the more emo im the more crazy im..
when i knw i no mood,i wil try 2do smtg jus wan try 2show tat im happy..
i jus wan 2hid my emo feeling..
when i no mood i jus try 2hid it..
n make my self laught,crazy n happy..
coz i scare coz of my moody wil make other ppl tat i care also no mood..
so i try 2cover it,tw more crazy im te more moody im..
i stil rmb gt 1time im very moody,
when mama knw she jus kep ask n ask me y??wat hapen??
i knw she asking me coz she care me..thx for te care mama..i love u..^^
sometimes i jus try 2make my self busy so tat i can forget al te ting..
is tere anybody knw my feeling??

i have tired about it d..
tired,tired,tired..
i jus hope somebody can lend me his/her shoulder..
tired d..
need a shoulder 2rest..
is tere any shoulder???

hurt..

im so stupid la..
kena 1time d stil wil kena 2nd time..
im so stupid..
so so so stupid..
i dun trust tis world gt LOVE anymore..
b a good girl jus wil hurt my self..
then hould i b a bad girl..
at less i can protect my self from hurting..
bt i stil nt enaught level 2b a bad girl..
i knw no mater wat hapen..
if i kena buli my grandgrandma(winwen), grandma(adeline), n mama(mooipoh) sure wil help me de..
mayb kor or di also wil help me..
bt i jus wan settle tings by my self..
i stil rmb gt 1day..
i duno y i argue wif a person..
then he say "i knw u very big"
i knw tat person is mean kor..(anderson)..
at fb gt ppl scold me cb lian ling~
u can say me wat bt u cant scold me bad world~
i very very dulan..
lj ppl "zanpakto zengtsu" fb name de..
u beter dun let me knw r u..
susien she ask me go te anderson..
bt y everyting wan tel then wor..
i dun wan tey go skul fight again..
my ting i can settle my self..
i dun wan 2menyusahkan then..

bt ...
if i tel them tey wil help me meh??
i also duno..
if i tel them tey wil anry n ask me who is them ??
or
tey wil say oo???

tey wil help me???

pain~

2day at skul i feel my heart bit until very fast..
bt mama say dun have..
at 3smtg my chest sudenly very pain..
babe ask me tel mum bt i dun wan..
i angry them..
i rela die also dun wan tel..
everytime i sick or hapen watever ting i also wun tel them..
never..

boring day

so boring~
day pass by day..
n i duno wan do wat~
sienx dao~
ytd i saw mama at p.malam
she also saw me
bt she didnt cm haiz~
ytd nite i bei 1person kek dao i off diao fon d~
nw wake up stil very kek~
in tis world y gt such kind of guy r~

bluring

u say u mis me
say me nt mis u
say me dun let u kao me
say me didint find u everytime u find me nia

u wan kao ma kao lo..
u man man kao lo..
i dun have te kuasa 2stop u kao me wat
so dun say until al is my faul..
O.K ???

bt when it cm 2nite..
u like became another ppl de..
i duno how 2describe..
jus like change everyting..
everyting..

i duno wat u tinking la..
realy cant understand u..
very hard 2understand la..
u make me blur always nia

...

if 1day i sudenly lost contact wil u al find me????
if 1day i die d will u al cry for me???


bt i hope tat if 1day i die d ~
i hope u al dun cry for me ..
coz i wil tak sampai hati 2leave u al~